Monday, July 13, 2009


My favorite rapper JAY-Z says and I quote;

"In order to succeed in life u gotta learn how to live with regrets"

I believe the best part of our existence on earth and in this life is our ability to make decisions that can lead to regrets or success. The ups and downs, the complexity, the uncertainty, the glory, the doom we must appreciate all these to enjoy this life. After citing these instances the reality is these instances come one at a time and when you’re in the moment, most of the time the foresight to see them as part of life isn't there. You will struggle and mourn, and then time will reveal how wonderful the experiences were. It just like a good wine; you can only savor the taste five or more minutes after you swallow. So let me indulged into those moments were my foresight is bleak and wary.

As much as I am aware that there still lies a couple of regrets in my future, I cannot forget the ones that have already happened. You see as time goes on you heal, your friends will comfort you and finally reality will strike, but I cannot seem to forget how horrible those experiences were. I don't know how regret is described by scholars but I know that regret is that thought of a mistake you made that cannot seem to escape your mind and everyday you wish you had that moment back to make the decision again. Why do regrets happen? It’s a question that only God can answer, the funny thing is I have seen books being advertised with the heading "How to live without regrets' like who can honestly live like that? And to the authors what have they discovered that they could put in writing? Anyways maybe it is possible but not to me.

At this point in my life my number one regret is not having my dad with me as I climb these stages in my life. Some might wonder how 'do you regret losing your dad? dead is a universal guarantee!' well it might be but I regret not having him, matter of fact I regret not having him every day. I think as much as I get guidance from some very inspired individuals, I only crave for his advice and counsel. I regret those times that I took them for granted, I can remember some of the deeper one but I WISH I had taken some notes when he was talking. my dad will wake me up as a teenage boy at 3am and under the moonlight he will tell me stories about his personal life especially his childhood, ironically he will tell me some of his regrets to show me how I can avoid them in my own life . when I come to think of it I was never bothered or disturbed about getting up at 3am, wow all I remember is the way he talked under the moonlight. This is my number one regret because I did not have enough of them, I should have quizzed him more, ask him to tell me more, begged him to wake me up over and over again........oh men!

I regret not having my brother with me in the US. I regret not being an engineer by this time. I regret not calling my mother enough, I regret having created a facebook account, I regret not being close to some of my old friends at this stage in life, I regret most of the decisions I made in my personal relationship, I regret trusting certain individuals...etc This list will grow day after day but the point am trying to make here is am living with regrets and that is okay. I think am learning how to live with these regrets for am succeeding in life by all counts to my assessment. My point of view may differ from yours but please do not hesitate to point it out.

I have come to realize that my inspiration really comes from these regrets, when I think about my brother whatever am doing at that time I think of the best way to carry it out because I know he will be proud, yes I try to make him proud! My mother always have a smile on her face when I call her after a short period because I will be telling her about something I have accomplished, or will be completing. So I might go for a month without talking to her but she has grown accustomed to that; like she puts it because every call I make is either about a business progress, an academic award or a personal achievement. I regret not calling her a lot.

Our regrets have those parasitic effects to push us forward or break us it depends on how we take them. In that moment of regret we display life threatening symptoms like depression, despair, frustration, crying, we need to, like why not? we have failed! so we need this moment to soak it in, when am regretting something and we happen to talk about it with a friend, I really do not appreciate the friend that goes 'oh forget about it men' nah! I cannot forget about it, it is tantamount to ignoring a major defect in a project for engineers, you know it will come back three fold to bite you in the back. My uncle always says if you ignore a $10 problem by the time you come back to it you will be looking at a $1000 problem! So let me regret about my regrets!

Thank you guys for reading and sharing my thoughts.


BrownEyesBlue said...

Thank you for your comments, I truly appreciate them. I wish though that I could sometimes trade my bluntness for your eloquence. Your blogs inspire me, keep writing! (Mine won't always be gripefests, I promise)
And as far as your regrets go - there is no shame in wallowing in your pain, as long as you learn something from it and get back up again at some point. Pain is a part of humanity, I believe it is our greatest teacher.

And as for your father, I am truly sorry. Nothing can replace the loss of a parent. However, I hope you realize how blessed you are to have had that special time with him, as I know very few people whose fathers take real time with them like that. Cherish those memories.

peace said...

that is some great inspiration to so many out her.knowing that is not a great deal to have regrets about certain things we do in life giving that we learn from them and learn to be more carefull in the future.really sorry about you dad, but i know where ever he is he is surely very proud of you.

Angelbert Chikere said...

Regrets brother...are necessary, but you cannot regret by your definition about your father's can regret having not listened well or enough to him. But I believe he would not regret waking you up those nights and giving you the much he could from the excess of his salt of wisdom...use the little gotten and make regrets your stepping stone. I believe you have done this and you will always do it............

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