Sunday, July 5, 2009


first and foremost am not gonna blog about what friendship is and all its levels and forms, am just gonna freestyle my thoughts.

I want to think i have the most amazing friends on earth but i believe a lot of people share that sentiment. hence it makes the point what friendship is all about. trust, respect, support and mutual understanding are one of the most dominant ingredients in the best kinds of friendship. i equate friendship to relationships, cause for me, friendship is a relationship plain and simple. my friends have changed all through my life but the ones i have kept for more than ten years are the ones i begin to think of as the "truest ones".

on a personal note i think my relationships with all of my friends has been shaped by the way i was brought up, at times some people claim your astrological sign plays a part. well i can't get into that but there are so many similarities in these zodiac signs with ones character. In my childhood, i was surrounded mostly by my immediate family and at most 5-6 people around the house at all times. I was shy but did not make a lot of friends and even when i was in school i was pretty invisible. I can honestly say i came out of my shells in college a little bit and to me that is where i started making some of my "truest friends" till date. Even still i always had such a limited number of friends that were close because that is how i make myself comfortable. i guess it is a given fact that you can meet a lot of people and even know a lot of people but only a minute few are your friends. at this stage in my life I feel like I know too many people and have the fewest friends ever. it is so weird when i think about it; when i was least popular i had the most friends now that am more popular than before i have the fewest friends!

the idea that you meet people smile at them and ask them about something personal in their life is more like a social thing to me. it doesn't mean we are friends. we talk about each other behinds our backs ( yea trust me you can claim people talk about you but you do the same thing nobody is innocent here!), we gossip, we make up...etc. all these things are semblance to every society we might associate with. when i think of friendship fights and drama, i think of a jay-z song with r Kelly where he raps and i quote

"We don't vibe no more because we don't C/see alike
Now when we see each other it's so strange
I don't know whether to hug him or slug him (damn)
I don't know whether to cap him or dap him
I don't know what to think of him, I don't know what's happenin"

as much as we want to cherish our relationships there comes a time where you begin to think, what will happen if i had a fallout with this person? this friend? I want to think i might not know what to expect from that, but at this stage in my life my comfort level tells me i will manage even if things goes sour. now in a relationships where i really depend on that friends' input and support i will dread such happenings. My thought exactly now is, when there is nothing at stake does that relationship stay true or real? i have lost friends because i moved to another town, i lost some because i moved to another country, i lost some because we lost all our common grounds, and am losing some right now because of who i am now..

to all my friends reading this post, even though i feel like i have my truest friends around me now, i feel so lonely and over the past two years i have come to love this "loner status".i like to sit in my house, office, or car for hours, days alone, it gives me a great deal of satisfaction. we all know our strenghts, mine is the way i think or strategize, i feel like if that gets taken away i will be in lots of trouble. i like to come out of hiding and engage with other people. As much as i cherished the company around me but i feel more alive when i have my alone time. in the business we run, i accomplished more during the nights than during the day because during the day you get several customers and phone calls and lots of people coming in and out of the office. so what is friendship really and how does is go with my loner status?

At this point my thing about friendship is that as much as it is great i can never fully understand it with my way of living. so i treat them as they come but will always stay loyal to all my truest friends "you can always count on me"


ZIZOU said...

Really nice! That's really interesting. I love your piont of view about friendship and also the comparaison you did with the whole Jay-z and R kelly thing.
Anyway, this is a blog; therefore, i am going to tell you my opinion about friendship. I totally agree with you when you say friendship is a relationship and it all about and "trust, respect, support and mutual understanding".In life you have two kinds of friends: a simple friend also called camarade and a real friend or best friend. Theses are the differences i have learnd and noticed between those two kind of friends:
A simple friend act as a guest in your house.
A real friend opens your refrigerator and serve himself.
A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend has his shoulders dipped with your tears.
A simple friend does not know the names of your parents.
A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book or phone.
A simple friend brings a bottle of wine in your party.
A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help clean.
A simple friend hates when you call after he went to bed.
A real friend asks you why you have taken so long to call.
A real friend asks questions about love story.
A simple friend could blackmail you with it.
A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have a dispute.
A real friend calls you after an argument.
A simple friend expects you to be always there for him.
A true friend is always there for you.
This is what i have noticed so far.

Tonge said...

This writeup is making me think. Wow, FRIENDSHIP its amazing how we look at it. We can around living our lives like an island. Every now and then, we lean on one another.

I share with you opinion about friendship, on the mutual, trust, respect...There is something that i would want to say, respect, mutuality and other factors that keep our friendship kicking arethe physical aspects of our day to day. There are also the aspect in friendship that we do not see, we judge that based on feeling, i am talking about respect. We are humans and most times we expect others to treat us as sure.

As i grow older, i realised that i get the best of moments when am alone, i may not be thinking about anything, but am just happy and feel more comfortable.

I have always keep my friends closer, i believe n friendship, like you said, the friends you have are the ones you have over the past 10 (ten) years or so. I have had to meet with lots of wonderful people ove the past 3years and i can tell you that, we sometimes limit our selves in the idealogy that real friends are the ones we have spent the better part of lives with. If we can open up a little we will truly realise that there lots of new wonderful people out there that we cannot call our friends but just acquaintances.

I believe that we are of age where we don't need to live our lives in pretense. If you see somebody and you wink rather than giving him/her a smile, in my opinion, you are hindering your self, because from what i know,a smile works like medecine to the soul. In other words you are winking at your self.

If we spent our time talking behind others back, the reason is simply,we have not given up the childish altitude, but i guess we are humans afterall, that's the excuse we often use...

peace said...

you said it all is the altimate.some times i feel that way too.not like you don't have some one you can confind in or trust out there,but just for the mere reason that you want to really be alone .i will like to be alone most times.your greatest enemy can be your best to everyone out there its always better to make jesus your best friend.and one thing i learned growing up,you most first trust yourself then you can trust you first then others next.i believe in the saying"one is a group but three is a crowd".this goes especially for ladies, a third party is always a problem.keep up aben i luv the good work.each time i get to learn something new from your blog.we pray for more inspiration.

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